Over the past three years, I have attended nearly a dozen weddings for various friends. And while there is a ton of advice out there on engagement and wedding etiquette, there aren’t many guidelines on post-wedding Ps and Qs. So, I thought I would outline some, all based on my pals’ experiences. While most of these don’ts are common sense, you’d be surprised at how many times I’ve heard about — or actually seen — people committing these uncool no-nos.
1. Pop the question
A couple at a friend of a friend’s destination nuptials got engaged less than 12 hours after the wedding itself ended, just following the next-day brunch, at the very hotel the bride and groom and all of their friends were staying. Sure, they were technically on vacation too, and, technically, the festivities were over. But, when they mass-texted the news to all of their mutual friends, their engagement took attention away from the couple everyone was there to celebrate — who was still on the property basking in the post-wedding glow with their friends.
2. Post all of your photos
Some couples prefer to keep all of their wedding photos private, which is their prerogative no matter how much you want to share how cute you looked in your semi-formal dress that night. Before you post anything to Facebook and Instagram, be sure your doing so is cool with the bride and groom — especially when it comes to images of their ceremony, which tend to be more sacred to couples.
3. Pester about the Facebook relationship status
You may be excited for your friend to change her status from “Engaged” to “Married,” but there’s no need to write annoying comments on her wall about it.
4. Text your friend when she’s on her honeymoon
Every friendship is different, so it might be totally natural for you and your bestie to message each other while she’s on a deserted island with her new husband. But, for the most part, you should refrain from sending her texts when she’s on this once-in-a-lifetime vacation, especially if said texts are about your guy problems or work crises.
5. Ask for her decorations
So, your wedding is in a few months and you would LOVE to reuse a bride’s table numbers, wood vase risers, or votives on your big day. Awesome! She’d probably love to sell you them for cheap (or even just give them to you). But definitely give her some breathing room before asking for her goods — during the reception is not the right time to make these kinds of inquiries.
6. Inquire about personal decisions
Pestering a couple about their name change decisions (or lack thereof), baby plans, et al, is off limits for at least six months post-wedding. Let them enjoy being newlyweds without any kind of social pressure.
7. Joke about the divorce rate
I think we all know why this is not okay, right?
What else constitutes bad post-wedding behavior in your book?