1. When you talk to your parents and your future in-laws, be sure to make it specific that you are asking them for a wish list of who they would like to invite (key word: wishlist). That will soften the blow when they find out that a few people are not going to get invited. If parents are not helping with the bill of the wedding, you don’t even need to ask (but it is a nice gesture to your parents, you know, the people who raised you!).
2. Go over the wedding guest list with your fiancé and start putting together a must-have list (family and close friends) and a maybe list (co-workers, new friends, fraternity/sorority friends). Ask yourselves the same questions for each maybe guest: How close is this person? When was the last time you saw them? Would having them at your wedding make or break your enjoyment? Will this person be a part of your lives forever?
3. Make your wedding adult-only. Parents will likely want to take advantage of making the most out of a kid-free night and have fun and indulge at your wedding. Also, those guests with young children won’t need to leave the reception early to tuck them into bed.
4. Unless your guest does not know a single soul besides the bride/groom at your wedding or is in a serious relationship, you can nix the +1 guest if you simply cannot afford to (either budget or venue space-wise). Just be sure to seat single guests with familiar friends or at one table so they can easily talk to other single people.
5. You can invite more people to the ceremony, but you don’t need to invite everyone to the reception. Be sure to organize who gets a reception RSVP card, who doesn’t and double check the list! You don’t want to mix up the two lists. Let ceremony-only guests know that they don’t need to send a wedding gift and that the honor of their presence is a gift enough. There are a few rules you’ll have to abide by, though. If someone bought a plane ticket to attend your wedding, you should probably invite them to the reception too.
6. Accept the fact that you will hurt someone’s feelings. You can’t worry about the way people are going to feel. Relationships change over time. You’re not going to be able to invite everyone whose wedding you’ve attended. Trust that some people (like married couples) understand how hard it is to pay for and plan for a wedding. Go with your gut and trust that you are making the right decision.
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