Over time, your relationship will start resembling your most comfortable sweats and feel less and less like your sexiest skinny jeans. That’s kind of the point, right? After a while, you and your partner become a family unit and neither of you have to put on airs to try to please each other, like you may have done (just a little bit!) in the beginning of your relationship.
But just because things get comfy it doesn’t mean that romance has to fall by the wayside. In fact, actively showing your partner appreciation is probably the hottest way you can boost your bond. (Yes, more so than buying that racy lingerie.) Mutual respect and admiration, shown in words and in action, will keep your love alive (and your engines revved, so to speak) for the long haul. Here are six small things you can do right now that really add up.
Saying Please and Thank You
Our parents all taught us to say these polite words to everyone, even strangers. So, it seems like a no-brainer that we should say them to our partners. But, do we? Oftentimes, we can get distracted or simply too comfortable around each other that these common niceties fall out of conversation. Make sure they make their way back in. Remember: Your partner should be the person who gets the best of you, not what’s left over after being nice to everyone else.
Making Eye Contact
It’s easy to have conversations across the room, or in completely different ones, as we rush to get breakfast made, ready for work or even put the kids to bed. Taking the time to connect while you’re talking, though, is key to feeling connected. Whatever you want to say can wait until you’re both able to sit down, take a deep breath and really look at each other.
Putting the Phone Down
We’re all more connected these days than ever before…to our smartphones. Whether you’re constantly scrolling Instagram tapping out those hearts or battling with your friends on Clash of Clans, know when to put the phone down and make a point to unplug around your partner, at least for a few hours a night. Doing so will not only give yourself a chance to recharge but also foster a deeper in-real-life connection with the one you love most. It’s very difficult to pay attention to your partner, or at least give the attention that he or she deserves, when you’re focused on a screen.
Adding Favorites to the Grocery List
The next time you’re at the market, go rogue and pick up some items you know your partner will love, aside from whatever is on the list. Maybe it’s the latest issue of a magazine he or she loves to read, or a sweet treat you know he or she always craves – whatever reminds you of your other half. A thoughtful gesture like this is easy yet so meaningful.
Encouraging First
After some time in a relationship, playing devil’s advocate becomes our go-to when your partner presents you with an idea or an opportunity. It’s super easy to get into this default when your partner is asking you about a friends-only trip he or she wants to take (“we don’t have the money”) or if you want to take a class at night to further your career (“we won’t get as much time together”). Instead of talking about what’s wrong with whatever your partner is proposing, try to be positive first. Then, you can air your concerns. That way, you’re showing your beloved that you’re on their side, not against them.
Doing Thoughtful Tasks
Errands and tasks are a part of life. Taking these on unexpectedly is not only a thoughtful gesture, it helps free up time for your partner to do fun stuff. If you happen to borrow your partner’s car, for instance, return it better than you found it. Fill the tank up with gas, get it washed or empty the trash from the side door (even if it’s not yours). When you do a little extra in these situations, you show your partner how much he or she really means to you. The time and energy to show your appreciation are low, but the payoff is big.
What do you do to show your partner appreciation? Tell us in the comments!
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