It may seem a little unfair to know the answer to a question before you ask it, but in the case of a marriage proposal, having confidence that the answer is yes will help with your sanity. Of course you can never be 100% sure, but here’s a way to get to 99% and make it easy on yourself and maybe everyone else you know.
First off, how long have you been dating?
Fortunately there is no established timeframe on how short or long people need to date to get engaged, but since marriage is a lifelong commitment it’s probably a good idea to take your time before diving in. Does she talk about your future together? Does she use the word “forever” when discussing your relationship? Without a definite “it’s marriage time” moment, I suggest giving yourself a full year together before you decide to take a knee. A year gives you the opportunity to understand your partner’s ups and downs, how they react to a bad day at work, how they celebrate holidays, how they solve problems and how best to communicate with them.
How’s the wallet?
Money isn’t everything, but it allows the two of you to have freedom to grow in your relationship without needing help from others. If you haven’t already, discuss your financial history and future together. Talk about your spending and saving habits, any long term goals, joint accounts, saving for a house or kids. This will help minimize uncertainty for both of you so that when she comes home with a curious smile and a $400.00 purse, you won’t be surprised.
Are you her #1 confidant?
Regardless of if she is happy, sad or indifferent, does she want to come to you first to share how she feels? If you are the first person she runs to with anything that is on her mind, you can believe she considers you as her rock. You should be the person she trusts the most and she should be the same for you.
Have you discussed marriage?
Marriage is an eventuality for many, but is still incredibly special and at some point you may have discussed the possibility. What is her opinion of marriage and what is her view of marriage for herself? Will you adopt traditional gender roles or a more modern view? Getting to know her view of marriage will help you understand her expectations for the future.
Do you party more together than with your single friends?
The Vegas club hopping has started to get old and you are noticing a change in the preferred activities the two of you attend. Are you making the transition from lone wolf to igloo dwelling penguins? How does she feel about spending more time with you than her girls? How do you feel about spending most of your free time together? What balance do you strive for? How much freedom do you allow each other? Discussing these questions will help manage the relationship changes among each other and your friends.
Once again there is no way to be 100% sure of her answer, but asking these questions will help you assess the relationship for who you are now, who you hope to become, and what role you’re expected to play. Now that all of that is out in the open I ask you to consider one last thing, do you love her? Does she love you? If the answer is yes, I’d say it’s a good time to snap, crackle, pop the question.
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