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Before You Get Engaged, Ask These Six Questions

• November 15, 2016
• by Natasha Burton

Before you get engaged
There comes a point in most serious relationships when you start thinking about making things just a bit more official. But getting engaged isn’t just about the bling—though diamonds are important! It’s about making the decision to be coupled with your significant other for the rest of your lives. So, definitely not something to take lightly.

Before taking the leap and choosing each other for forever, have a heart-to-heart with your partner about some of the more common issues that tend to come up in a marriage and just before you tie the knot. That way, you can see if you’re on the same page now and in the years to come.

1. What interests do we share? This may seem like a no-brainer, especially if you two go surfing every weekend or play video games each night together. But if you two tend to have separate hobbies, it’s worth asking each other what activities you can share and bond over in the years to come. That way, you can continue to grow together.
2. Who should wash the dishes? Domestic duties can be a source of conflict in relationships if expectations aren’t matching reality. If you don’t live together yet and haven’t discussed the household division of labor, now’s the time to do so.
3. Joint or separate bank accounts? Money is a major topic of concern for married couples since it affects almost everything in your lives—how often you go out on dates, when you’ll buy a house, how much you’ll spend on your kids and whether or not you’ll go on a yearly vacation. Discuss how you’ll deal with your finances and understand each other’s money personalities, like if one of you is a spender and the other is more of a saver.
4. Sex daily, weekly or monthly? Physical intimacy is something a married couple shares with only each other. So, understanding each other’s desires, and the frequency you each need those desires to be met, is crucial for long-term satisfaction.
5. Do you want a big or intimate wedding? Wedding planning can be a source of stress for couples, causing unnecessary anxiety when they should be enjoying their engagement and getting excited about becoming husband and wife. Talking about the big picture of your wedding day, pre-engagement, can help you get on the same page before it’s time to tour venues and make that guest list.
6. What’s your jewelry style? Before anyone gets down on one knee, it’s important to understand each other’s wants when it comes to wedding and engagement rings. This way, you can rest assured that you’ll pick out (or receive) the perfect bauble. Takes the pressure off, big time. To find out more about preferred ring styles, take these two fun quizzes: For the men and for the women.

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Natasha Burton

Relationship expert Natasha Burton is the author of four books: 101 Quizzes for Brides & Grooms, 101 Quizzes for Couples, 101 Quizzes for BFFs, and The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags. When she's not writing, she's likely doing yoga, baking, or watching The Bachelor.

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