I don’t know why I get anxious when I shop. Whether it is a department store, a mall or even the grocery store, it stresses me out. Now not everyone is here with me but I would venture to guess that the one place that most guys will agree makes them anxious would be a jewelry store. To add to that stress, we are not talking about your typical jewelry store here, we are talking about an engagement ring store! So what brings on this panic? Well, it could be finding the perfect ring, her giving you too many suggestions (or worse, no suggestions) and of course the biggest of them all, BUDGET. Not to worry, I have a few things to keep in mind as you search for that perfect ring that should minimize the stress.
“So I have found ‘the one’ but how am I ever going to find ‘the ring’?” You know her. It is a bit daunting to walk into a store and see case after case of rings. Before the sweat beads begin to form, take a breath and remind yourself that you know her more than you give yourself credit for. The key is taking the things you love the most about her and translating that into a style. Start by describing her. If she is an old soul who appreciates the details, start looking at Vintage rings. Bold, loud and unique? Start with Modern rings. The best thing to know here is rings are usually described using the same terms you would use to describe your “One.” Focus on her and relax, just talking about your love seems to calm most guys down anyway.
“But she knows what she wants and gave me four choices! Oh crud, what am I going to do?” Always go for #1. Panic sets in, heavy breathing, you can’t stop thinking “What if I get it wrong?” Relax! This one’s easy. She gave you her first choice, her second choice, plus her third and fourth choice, right? Let me say that again slowly…. Her… FIRST… choice….actually we can stop right there! It’s her first choice for a reason, so relax and don’t over complicate it! Just find the perfect ring within the wheel of options for that design and of course, within your budget.
“Yea, you’re lucky, my girlfriend doesn’t even know I am doing this and has given me nothing to go on.” She will love it. The thing to remember here is, she is going to love whatever you select. I know that sounds very cliché and to be honest it’s not 100% true, but I would say at least 95% true and that’s not too bad! Of course you can’t just walk into a typical jewelry store and buy the first ring you see. You will need to really think about the rings and her style and of course her, but the key here is to follow your heart. Once you see the ring and know it is perfect for her, relax and know that once you express your love and drop to one knee, whatever you have chosen to be in the box will be perfect.
“2 months Salary? or is it 3? Can I actually handle eating Ramen for the next 2 years? Can she?” Overspending is not required. It’s hard not to stress about how much you are “supposed” to spend. Here is where you need to take another Deep breath…and tell yourself that there is no rule. You get to decide how much to spend. Let’s face it, there is absolutely nothing romantic about being broke. Figure out how much you want to spend, and shop based on that budget. Ask to see the biggest most beautiful ring (that matches that wheel of options above) all within the “still have enough money for dinner” budget. Just by knowing where you are comfortable before you shop makes this stress a lot more manageable.
Now there is no magic pill you can take to make all the stress go away and that is OK, the idea here is to minimize it. Honestly, there needs to be some anxiety, this is a big deal and so is she. To give you that extra peace of mind, ask these simple questions before you start:
• What if it is not perfect, can I exchange it?
• What if she wants a tattoo instead, can I return it?
• What if a diamond falls out, will she be covered for life?
• Can you help me with the proposal once I find the ring?
This should help you know if you are in the right place to begin with and that alone will help you relax. So to review, shopping sucks, keep your mind on her, ask the right questions and relax! You got this.
We would love to hear from you. What things stressed you out while you shopped and how did you overcome it? What advice would you give to the next guy that starts this process? Leave a comment, God knows we can use all the help we can get!
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