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New Year’s Resolutions for the Single, Engaged and Married

  • December 23, 2016
  • by Jennifer Styers
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The words ‘New Year’s Resolutions’ can strike fear in the hearts of many adults these days. So many broken resolutions sometimes keep us from setting new ones in fear of not meeting them. If we reposition the resolution as more of an intention, it will take the pressure off of getting a result and put the focus on long-term change.

Our personal relationships are the most important relationships we will ever have in our life. They are a gift and we must deem them a priority. So whether we are single and looking for love, engaged to be married or already married…there are things we can do every single day to make a huge difference in our level of happiness and fulfillment in life. We have to remember that love starts with us. Regardless of any relationship status we have, if we don’t love ourselves, then no one else is going to be able to either.

So as this new year begins, take the time to write an I AM list and identify 100 things about yourself that are true today. Adjectives are all that you need and remember to keep them positive. We are constantly changing and evolving and who we were 20 years ago or even last year is different today. We have learned new things and we have grown from experience. That’s what makes us uniquely special. When you have finished your list, then it’s time to make a list of your intentions for your future partner or for your relationship that you already have.

Winter Love

If you are single, what are the qualities that you’re looking for in a partner? If you are in a relationship, what are the qualities that remain important to you in your life today? It’s important to think about and remember who we need to be for our relationships. Are we showing up? If we are not giving our most intimate relationships the best that we can offer, then it’s time to take accountability for that and set an intention to change.

Tips For You To Have a Fulfilling New Year

If you’re SINGLE

Take Care of Yourself
*Take the time to DO the inner work necessary in order to BE the best partner for your true love that you are committed to meeting! That means HEALING first and being prepared for LOVE.

*Extend GRACE to yourself when it comes to dating and finding ‘the one.’ Remember it’s more important to find the right one than to just have some-one.

*Take ACTION to make that special connection. Get out and enjoy your favorite things, say YES more, sign up for that online dating site or hire that Matchmaker! You have to go after what you want.

*Resolve to give your dates a chance. Sometimes people get nervous on a first date and don’t quite show you who they are. Unless the date was awful, give them a second chance.

*Resolve to accept, value and love yourself and define your own worth, rather than waiting for someone else to love you and give you a sense of worth. Create boundaries around this and stick to them.

NEWLY ENGAGED COUPLES
*Make it a point to have the important discussions with one another about how you feel about marriage finances, kids, family, home and couple responsibilities before you tie the knot.

*Enjoy being engaged and don’t rush the process of the wedding. The planning is supposed to be fun, not a chore.

*Resolve to learn how to consider one another in big decisions…this includes wedding plans.

*Resolve NOT to get bogged down with too many details in planning your big day. Marriage is about loving one another every day of your life for the next 100 years…not how perfect ONE day of that 100 years will be.

*Put WE before ME from now on.

MARRIED COUPLES

Focus on Each Other
*Pick at least ONE night a week that you two focus on one another. Date night or romance night to keep that connection STRONG throughout the years, regardless of what is going on in life.

*Resolve to keep your faith strong in your marriage by praying or meditating together each night or taking turns reading scripture passages, inspirational quotes or uplifting books.

*Resolve to always be honest and open with your partner in life. Connections fade when we stop communicating about the things that matter.

*Listen to your partner. REALLY listen to them. There is nothing more intimate in a relationship than being known and understood. This starts with listening to what our life partner is saying, or not saying.

*Resolve to have FUN with each other. Never stop playing. The courting process should always be working in a marriage.

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Jennifer Styers
Jennifer Styers
Jennifer, a relationship coach, matchmaker and Match.com expert is the nation's 'go to girl' for love & relationships. She enjoys regular television appearances on NBC, CBS and FOX Morning and Evening News programs to discuss the ever-changing “rules of engagement” on finding, understanding and keeping love.
Jennifer Styers
Latest posts by Jennifer Styers (see all)
  • 20 Quick And Sweet Ways To Show Your Love - January 27, 2017
  • New Year’s Resolutions for the Single, Engaged and Married - December 23, 2016
  • 5 Reasons to Renew Wedding Vows - May 17, 2016

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